$1,390 / 1 150 €.

The product page doesn’t explain it; instead, Balenciaga simply lists its features: “Archetype fleece, Hood without drawstring, Dropped shoulders, Ripped out Kangaroo pocket at front, Tape Type artwork at front and back, Destroyed and washed-out effect, Made in Portugal”.

It’s made in Portugal, so you know it’s high-quality destroyed clothing.

$105 / 99 €.

From the product page: “Dolce&Gabbana's Fefé fragrance mist, the brand's debut for dogs, draws its inspiration from the unwavering love for Domenico Dolce's loyal companion, Fefé. This gentle and delicate scent is crafted for a playful beauty routine… It's an olfactory masterpiece featuring the cocooning and warm notes of Ylang, the clean and enveloping touch of Musk, and the woody creamy undertones of Sandalwood.”

If you’re having a bad day, just remember that at least you’re not a marketing copywriter at Dolce&Gabbana who has to figure out how to sell luxury perfume for dogs.

CAD$1,250 (equivalent to $883, 785 €).

From the product page: “Handmade by a master silversmith and inspired by the paper coffee cups used only in Tiffany & Co stores around the world, this cup is crafted in the finest sterling silver… The sterling silver paper cup should not be used to consume hot liquids.”

My favorite feature of the cup is the simulated paper seam, where it reads “CAUTION-CONTENTS HOT” just like the original.

There must be people who find these products amusing enough to buy. But as jokes go, they’re expensive.

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